All pets. Zero remorse. — Free shipping on orders $50+

Front Desk / Incident Reporting

File a Report

Questions about an order, a custom booking, or something your pet did that you feel we should know about. Fill out the form. A human reads every single one, which is either reassuring or concerning depending on what you write.

Form CM-09 / Incident ReportComplete All Fields

Statements may be used against your pet in a court of merchandise.

Certified Menace CO. — All pets. Zero remorse.